There’s really nothing like the first cycle commute after recovering from a heavy cold. I really must urge you (if you’re suffering from congested sinuses) to get the old bike out, make sure the tyres are inflated and the chain’s not rusted solid if it’s been a few years since your arse was planted atop a saddle, and ride like the clappers. The combination of the cold morning air, the body heating up and the resultant dilation of the nasal passages is a sure fire way to loosen the snot and enable you to blow snot-rockets and howk up sizeable pavement oysters with reckless abandon.

But one quick tip – always check there’s no-one sitting on your tail as you fire one off to the side. The unexpected gift of an ’emerald necklace’ isn’t always appreciated by your followers.